Chicago And Blu's Story - I've Found The Reason For Me....
FIRST AND FOREMOST I WILL SAY I AM CAPITALIZING THESE WORDS AS A JOKE BECAUSE HE PICKS ON ME FOR CAPITALIZING THE FIRST LETTER OF EVERY WORD I WRITE WHETHER ITS A JOURNAL POST, A SITE EDIT OR AN EMAIL. ITS A HABIT I PICKED UP ALONG THE WAY AS A PUBLISHER. SO I'M PICKING ON CHICAGO FOR PICKING ON ME! HA HA! WE HAD A GOOD LAUGH ABOUT THIS VERY THING WHEN WE TALKED ON THE PHONE LAST NIGHT. HE ALSO PICKED ON ME FOR "PICKING UP ON STRANGE GUYS AT THE COMPUTER TERMINALS AT THE SALT LAKE LIBRARY" WHICH WAS HOW WE MET AND HE PICKED UP ON ME JUST FOR THE RECORD. SO CHI, THIS ONES FOR YOU - LOL
Now For The Chicago Blu Story
Well, To Make A Long Story Short, The Only Reason We Broke Up 2 Years Ago Was Because The Trip He Was Taking Home For The Holidays In 2003 When We Were Together Was Only Meant To Be A 2 Week Trip Home. After This We Were Going To Build A Life Together. I Had Gotten Us An Apartment In Downtown Salt Lake City. We Were Both In Less Than Ideal Living Situations At The Time. So He Broke Up With Me Because He Was Never Coming Back To Utah. We've Kept In Touch Over The Past Two Years. At First We Were Friends Then We Got Into A Big Huge Fight Over Some Things That Happened When We Were Together. Then We Decided That We Cared More About Preserving The Friendship Than Fighting Over Petty Crap That Didn't Matter Any More. So We Kept In Touch. I Had Not A Clue That I Still Had Any Kind Of Butterflies For Him Any More. I Hadn't Really Thought About It Because Usually At Least One Of Us Had Someone Else. He Has Suffered Through Some Issues, So Have I. But Here We Are Finding Each Other Both Single And Wanting To Start Over. Looking Back, The Signs Were There That Something Still Remained In Our Hearts & Destiny Related To Each Other. I Don't Think He Realizes This Still Nor Can I Make It Known To Him. I Don't Think He's Ready Yet. But For Me, The Writing's On The Wall. Its Funny Because If Y'All Know Me, You Know That I Just Got Me And Nicholas Away From George - My Ex Just Over A Month Ago. And Since Then I've Made Certain Specific Plans For Nicholas And I, Hence The Reason Nicholas And I Are Still Where We Are. But I Had No Clue How I Would Successfully Pull It Off. Up Until Last Night, I Had No Clue That Chicago May Just Be The Reason & The Answer. He May Be The Reason For All The Dreams I've Had And Flashbacks. I'm A Firm Believer That Sometimes In Life You Have To Go "Back To The Future". I Don't Mean That You Go Back And Try To Fix Or Change The Past Because Things Past Have Happened The Way They Have And That They Happened For The Best. But Yet Sometimes, The Answers To Your Future Can Be Found In The Past. I've Taken Quite A Trip Down Memory Lane Lately. I Think That I Want Chicago Back And I Don't Care Who Knows Because I Believe I Take Precedence In A Lot Of Places In His Life Right Now. He's Been Dying To See Me Too. But The Brat Won't Admit Feelings Either. So Things In Our Life May Not Be Going South After All. They May Be Going East.I've Been Wondering When The Winds Of Change Would Blow My Way. I've Just Needed Someone To Tell Me Where The Road Turns Because God Has Been Secretive Up Until This Point.
I Didn't Realize That I Still Had Feelings. But Right Now I'm Glad I Do. I Love Who I Am Around Him. He Brings Out That Wonderful Part Of Me. I Still Get Choked Up When I Think Of The Day He Left. I Still Go By Or Into The Salt Lake City Greyhound Without Hating It Because Of The Day He Walked Onto That Bus, The Last Time I Saw Him. Good Grief. Agony. My Sons Are The Most Important People In The World To Me. But Chicago Is Right Now. If I Can I'm Getting Him Back And Picking Up Where I Left Off....
"I Just Want You To Know, I Found The Reason For Me To Change Who I Used To Be. A Reason To Start Over New, And The Reason Is You. I've Found A Reason To Show A Side Of Me You Didn't Know A Reason For All That I Do. And The Reason Is You...."
Now For The Chicago Blu Story
Well, To Make A Long Story Short, The Only Reason We Broke Up 2 Years Ago Was Because The Trip He Was Taking Home For The Holidays In 2003 When We Were Together Was Only Meant To Be A 2 Week Trip Home. After This We Were Going To Build A Life Together. I Had Gotten Us An Apartment In Downtown Salt Lake City. We Were Both In Less Than Ideal Living Situations At The Time. So He Broke Up With Me Because He Was Never Coming Back To Utah. We've Kept In Touch Over The Past Two Years. At First We Were Friends Then We Got Into A Big Huge Fight Over Some Things That Happened When We Were Together. Then We Decided That We Cared More About Preserving The Friendship Than Fighting Over Petty Crap That Didn't Matter Any More. So We Kept In Touch. I Had Not A Clue That I Still Had Any Kind Of Butterflies For Him Any More. I Hadn't Really Thought About It Because Usually At Least One Of Us Had Someone Else. He Has Suffered Through Some Issues, So Have I. But Here We Are Finding Each Other Both Single And Wanting To Start Over. Looking Back, The Signs Were There That Something Still Remained In Our Hearts & Destiny Related To Each Other. I Don't Think He Realizes This Still Nor Can I Make It Known To Him. I Don't Think He's Ready Yet. But For Me, The Writing's On The Wall. Its Funny Because If Y'All Know Me, You Know That I Just Got Me And Nicholas Away From George - My Ex Just Over A Month Ago. And Since Then I've Made Certain Specific Plans For Nicholas And I, Hence The Reason Nicholas And I Are Still Where We Are. But I Had No Clue How I Would Successfully Pull It Off. Up Until Last Night, I Had No Clue That Chicago May Just Be The Reason & The Answer. He May Be The Reason For All The Dreams I've Had And Flashbacks. I'm A Firm Believer That Sometimes In Life You Have To Go "Back To The Future". I Don't Mean That You Go Back And Try To Fix Or Change The Past Because Things Past Have Happened The Way They Have And That They Happened For The Best. But Yet Sometimes, The Answers To Your Future Can Be Found In The Past. I've Taken Quite A Trip Down Memory Lane Lately. I Think That I Want Chicago Back And I Don't Care Who Knows Because I Believe I Take Precedence In A Lot Of Places In His Life Right Now. He's Been Dying To See Me Too. But The Brat Won't Admit Feelings Either. So Things In Our Life May Not Be Going South After All. They May Be Going East.I've Been Wondering When The Winds Of Change Would Blow My Way. I've Just Needed Someone To Tell Me Where The Road Turns Because God Has Been Secretive Up Until This Point.
I Didn't Realize That I Still Had Feelings. But Right Now I'm Glad I Do. I Love Who I Am Around Him. He Brings Out That Wonderful Part Of Me. I Still Get Choked Up When I Think Of The Day He Left. I Still Go By Or Into The Salt Lake City Greyhound Without Hating It Because Of The Day He Walked Onto That Bus, The Last Time I Saw Him. Good Grief. Agony. My Sons Are The Most Important People In The World To Me. But Chicago Is Right Now. If I Can I'm Getting Him Back And Picking Up Where I Left Off....
"I Just Want You To Know, I Found The Reason For Me To Change Who I Used To Be. A Reason To Start Over New, And The Reason Is You. I've Found A Reason To Show A Side Of Me You Didn't Know A Reason For All That I Do. And The Reason Is You...."
posted by Shanni Sullivan & The Boys at 2:55 PM
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